1984 #4

“It was a wild, impossible notion, to be abandoned as soon as thought of; but the room had awakened in him a sort of nostalgia, a sort of ancestral memory. It seemed to him that he knew exactly what is felt like to sit in a room like this... with nobody watching you, no voice pursuing you...” (96-97).

            It is quite clear that Winston does not view his life the same as others. Winston feels uncertain, confused, and disconnected towards his surroundings, while most of his comrades on Airstrip One loyally obey Big Brother. The antique store that Winston enters and the glass paperweight that Winston buys represent his desire to reconnect with his past. Big Brother’s propaganda washes away almost all of Winston’s memories, but the glass paperweight reveals his desperate attempt to recover past memories and make sense of history. This passage also demonstrates Winston’s longing for freedom. He says that the room awakens a “sort of nostalgia” in him, but he never actually felt like that. He was too young when the Revolution occurred to really appreciate and experience the type of freedom he is describing. Winston tries so hard to reveal the truth about the past that he gets caught up and starts to imagine himself experiencing these freedoms, when in reality, he never did. What is interesting, however, is that just by being in a room that can recreate the sensation of the past, Winston can all of a sudden imagine such a life. Although he attempts to conceal his desires, Winston ultimately disagrees with Big Brother and wants freedom. The question now is whether he will voice these opinions or keep them under wraps, forever.